Washed Away
by B.J. Sanders
Summary: Interpret How You Want It's rather dark, and has nothing except for characters truly implied. Possible Character Death. Possible yaoi or friendship. It all depends on how you view it.


**A/N:** Okay! Truly, I have no idea where the heck this came from – though I'm guessing the aliens that have currently decided to invade my brain have something to do with it. This is much darker than what I usually write – actually, much darker than what I usually _think_.

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WARNING: It's basically "Interpret How You Want". It's possible Character Death, but there's nothing that positively states it. It's possible yaoi-ness, but it can be interpreted as friendship. However – despite the fact that there are no actual names – I did give clues as to whom the characters are.****

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DISCLAIMER: I do not own Naruto. At this point, I'm not even sure if I own my own mind. I am sure that I do own a quickly diminishing box of antioxidant rich green tea (curse WebMDHealth and their newsletters. I don't even remember signing up.) as well as a box of strawberry pocky (curse Wal-Mart. They didn't have any chocolate.).**

Okay, I'm done with my useless – and more than likely possible brainless – ramblings. (Forgive me, I usually save my rants for silent conversations with myself before I go to sleep, but seeing as how it's midnight, it's evidently carrying out into my typed words.)

As for reviewers (mostly – when I say this, I imply only – from my Hammered Chronicles), I greatly enjoy getting your reviews. Despite the fact that I rarely, if ever, respond outside of fan fiction, I truly do love what every one of you has to say. The fact that I don't respond is probably just my Shikamaru-ish lazy streak. Meh. So troublesome…

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**_WASHED AWAY _**

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You looked weak, _so weak_, standing there in the rain as though Heaven's Tears would wash away all of your pain. Your face was tilted up to see the darkness of the skies, building gray clouds of your despair, and you saw it all. But your eyes were closed to that vision, your neck bared so pitifully, so beautifully.

You were thoroughly soaked, arms spread as you flew away with your imagination, the only freedom you seemed to don willingly. Of course, it was when you thought no one was looking, when you were all alone.

It was a double-edged sword, though, wasn't it? Because… when you were by yourself… that was the time you delved helplessly into your past, _so deeply_, into all of your weary problems.

Your freedom came with a price: your everlasting loneliness. And it was with that feeling of utter solitude with which you built your impenetrable wall, the unbreakable boundary surrounding you on all sides like a cage or a box; you were your own prisoner, your own worst enemy, and _no one_ could help you.

You were so pitiable. But no one knew that. Only me, and to you… to you, I was no one, right? You said it yourself so many times, how could I forget? How could _anyone_ forget? You always did address me with such harsh words, and they hurt. Every single time they fell from your lips, every time you muttered your displeasure, your unfathomable insults, my heart clenched, and my stomach drew up into my chest. You made it so hard for me to breath, to think, to do anything that I should have been able to do so simply.

You broke me when you tried least. Was this how you wanted it? For both of us to be so down trodden as to be like this, hiding behind menial façades?

I feel so low to be living a lie, but I've over looked that, become accustomed to it; I've always been low in the eyes of others, so low as to be a _monster_.

You, however,_ you_ are different. You were broken so easily, and it was your own doing, your own fault for never trying to heal what you could only see, what you could only feel. Does the pain of it hurt_ you_, too?

People mocked me, just like you did, but they _loved_ you, in a way that I could not even dream about. We were following the paths of those around us, folding to their wills. You hated me because they did. I _hated_ you because they _didn't_. Huh. It seems we were both wrong. But… after looking at it from a distance, were we ever truly _wrong_ at all?

Maybe it was just them, that mass of oneness from which we both wanted to escape but couldn't.

I was loud and obnoxious, ever wanting to gain your attention, to have your dark, soulless eyes upon me. I wanted you to see me for what I _was_, not for who I was pretending to be; I wanted you to swallow me into your world, to let me know that I wasn't alone. I knew you weren't alone. You were never alone, because you always had me.

You… you were always so apathetic and icy. Oh, yes, _ever_ the bitter, cold one. So frozen, in fact, that your skin mirrored the whitest of snow, and even looked to be that same chilling temperature.

But your skin, your_ touch_ was _anything_ but wintry. It felt like the sun, like a warm, caressing breeze, and it comforted me in a way only you could. You were always so warm, but no one could see it. No one could ever see it, not even me. But I could feel it; I could feel it in the pit of my abysmal soul, echoing within my hollow bones.

You were always so subtle – _too_ subtle, now that I think about it. Even by the way you felt, I could tell what you wanted of me, what you knew about me. But it never stopped you, did it?

Your pride was your undoing. You couldn't – _wouldn't_ – be brought down by opening yourself for once, to let that mountainous wall be swept away by a strong, spiraling wind, to let your mask slip and _fall_ just once, at least long enough for someone to offer you a hand and help pick you up out of the waters of your life.

But you let yourself drown, submerging and plunging yourself beneath the surface where you couldn't breath, couldn't even _move! _And you were just fanning us on, urging us to be on with our despicable little lives, while you were dying inside.

I didn't realize until it was too late; you couldn't be saved. Perhaps, just maybe, you planned it to be that way – intended for me to find you no longer human, but already dead.

It was certainly a sight no one wanted to see. I guess I was lucky then, considering I was the only one you proclaimed as no one. You were lost, broken, misplaced, _torn_. It was horrible – not actually _seeing_ you wasting away, your soulless eyes somehow even more hollow than I remembered – but just seeing _you_.

It certainly wasn't average to see _you_ of all people sitting and doing nothing while you slowly died from the inside. It was your belief that you had nothing, that you were the only one who could solve your own problems; it was your belief that there were no answers to your questions.

It was your belief that you had already died when I discovered you, standing motionless, arms splayed as though you had wings, face raised to the sky to welcome the sharp torrent of merciless needles piercing your flesh, piercing my flesh. The rain… the rain is what cut you, what cut me.

It seemed an eternity before you finally noticed me, and as you turned to me, I followed your movements. It wasn't that I meant to… in all reality, I hadn't even realized I had taken your own stance right in front of you.

But as we faced each other, eyes meeting for the first time in mutual understanding… I think we both recognized something – something neither of us had comprehended before: we were exactly the same – one, but not one – two, but not two. We were both dead, and had been for a long time – we just never noticed.

As we raised our heads again to the darkened sky, spreading our arms to fly again, I couldn't help but think that it wouldn't be so bad anymore, that despite how little cheer you showed in your smile just moments ago, we were no longer dead.

The addictive endorphins finally set in and a smile slowly made its way across my face, just as a ray of light bravely fought through the tumultuous sky above, splitting the clouds to give life to the world again.

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A/N: I don't really know if the title fits. Hmmm…

For my usual readers (implying the "Hammered" Chronicles readers) I'm sorry that this isn't like my usual stuff. My randomness just kind of switched on. (I am a very random person, you know. points to elementary age, where I had a Shino-like fascination for creepy-crawlies – though I didn't allow them to enter my body shivers at that thought points to middle school age, where I wanted to learn French and go to Paris – I think I may have learned one sentence, if it even has the right syntax and what-not "Non le lartage, ci vous plait." I'm not even sure if that was spelled right. X! points to current age, where am currently obsessed with Japan – as well as the culture of several Asian countries, and religions – and overall obsessed I prefer "really, really attached to" with the Naruto manga and other things.

sigh sorry to bore you once again… but it's way past midnight, and I have to get up early in the morning so I can go to a doctor that isn't even mine, and then develop four rolls of film. It's really bad that I still have five more rolls to develop. X!

I'm shutting up, and I'm going to sleep now. Good night! (Or good morning or good afternoon, depending upon what time you're actually reading this… if you're even reading this at all…)

Please, I enjoy feedback, and I love getting reviews! I don't even mind random thoughts that have nothing to do with my fics!

Thank you!


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